My Letter to Our Shitty Homeowner's Association

Okay, so I am easing into this blog thing and have not been very good at selling the sizzle of all that is Mr. P. Here is an easy blog entry; my letter to our HOA on why they can go to hell for hinting that they are going to raise our fees. We had some playground equipment vandalized and the HOA automatically tells us that they will raise our fees. Mind you, we pay $55 per month for nothing but a letter each month. They pay our landscape company $60,000 per year to "f" up our grass and can't keep our trashy, foreclosed on neighbors from allowing their weeds to grow over the top of their rocks. And if you have never seen a Vegas neighborhood, every house has stupid rocks in the front yard. If you don't want rocks, you have to pay $3000 for a miniature golf surface so it appears you have grass. Wouldn't be so bad if you could put a windmill or waterfall in your yard so you could at least putt a few times a day. Real grass is forbidden here in hell's kitchen because of the water shortage. Look at the fountains at Bellagio and tell me how much water we don't have. Anyway, here is the letter. Hope you enjoy.


Mr. P to shazizzle. Reply:


I just received my May 2008 HOA Newsletter and have some very real concerns that you will potentially be raising dues AGAIN. I have spoken to several homeowners throughout the valley who have much better looking neighborhoods than we do and less vandalism, whose fees are half what we currently pay. You cannot automatically propose an increase because there is an issue. You have to look at how the money is managed in the first place. Have you considered security cameras rather than a security firm for hire? Have you thought about not rebuilding the park equipment and investing in the trees (the ones that were promised 9 months ago, by the way) instead? Have you thought about imposing fines on the two homes across from my house (9876 & 6789 Anywhere Ave.) for utterly atrocious yards which are being taken over by weeds? You are proposing a "raise" in a time when your company has failed this neighborhood entirely. In my business, I would get fired for such a proposal. I would suggest that you start looking at the budget closely and determining where you can cut because I, for one, will not be paying for an increase to a company that cannot effectively manage the basics. I would also like to know my balance. I requested this information a month ago and did not receive a response. Thanks

-- Matt P 1234 Anywhere Ave. Las Vegas, NV 90210

Snoop Bloggy Blog

Welcome to my blog. This is the first post I have ever attempted and I hope I don't embarrass myself too badly. My lovely wife, Tasha, put me up to this whole thing and part of me is intrigued, the other part is struggling with the whole concept of making my inner thoughts available to the scrutiny of others I do not know. Why would someone care enough about me to stop and read about my "so called life?"
I am a 37 year-old okie with not much going on except a good career, a wonderful wife, and 2 beautiful (and crazy) children. I live in Vegas, the armpit of the earth, as my father would say. He said that about any place he preferred not to be, including Oklahoma. I like being a dad and feel very fortunate to have such a wonderful family.
Here is a secret for you......I read my wife's blog so I can find out what she is really up to. Sometimes a husband and wife don't get a chance to talk much after a hectic day and I find it is just as easy to visit her blog so I know what to expect when I crawl into bed with her. Her blog is killer. She says funny stuff and is such an an expert at articulating the mundane. Me......not so much. I think you will find that I can be quite direct and abrasive and am not much for beating around the bush.
So now that my first post is out of the way and you have some abbreviated idea of what I am about, I hope to intrigue you with some of my daily musings and observations for the shelf-life of this self-indulgent diary of my life. Cheers!!